I’m entangled in a highly complicated real estate transaction involving 24 acres of worthless desert land. But that’s not important, what’s important is that there was a monkey in the trees outside our house last night! You see what happened is, my deliriously beautiful girlfriend was working late and I was just sitting there watching TV with the cats and there was a strange noise in the trees and the cats froze and stared fixedly out the window at the monkey, which was making a kind of gently ooh-ooh sound and shaking the branches. It’s interesting that this would happen to me because I’ve always wanted a pet monkey. So then I got a flashlight and shined it around but the monkey was nowhere to be seen. After that the television started talking about a 600-pound jungle cat that has been prowling around the nearby neighborhood of Simi Valley. They said it was either a lion or a tiger, or – the newscaster solemnly intoned: a “liger”. So obviously there is some kind of problem with this part of town. The cats were made quite nervous by the presence of a monkey in the trees and they kept looking anxiously out the window but I told them to forget about it and we all went back to watching the news story about the liger. |