Another thing I forgot to mention is that the Polish guy, Jurk, has this breath that is so bad it is like getting smashed in the face with a gigantic hammer. Which wouldn’t be that bad except that like many of his culturally-maladjusted compatriots he seems blithely unaware of the American premium on “personal space”. Luckily he is leaving soon because he is starting to drive us all insane. The other thing is, I’m super tired because I stayed up last night until like, one million o’clock and then this morning the phone started ringing off the hook at an insanely early hour. How early? Oh I’d say around zero or so. It turned out to be my evil landlady Minka, calling me repeatedly with an absurd request to move my car so that a team of gardeners could more efficiently destroy the vegetation. She has found this gardener who has a singular monomaniacal vendetta against all flora and works diligently to kill every plant in sight. Even though he is an extremely hard worker he sometimes gets behind and must hire a dedicated team of experts to more thoroughly demolish all living things. So I moved my car to a chorus of chainsaws and machetes, at zero o’clock in the morning, as the extended families of every animal in the neighborhood fled in terror.
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