There’s this Polish guy and his ethnic girlfriend who are visiting us from Poland and um, somewhere else to work on the top-secret project that we devised a few months ago when things were kind of slow. I am not at liberty to divulge the nature of this project but I can tell you this: it’s big. Oh boy is it ever big. In fact: it’s bigger than big. When we initially cooked up this crazy harebrained scheme – which will make us all rich beyond the dreams of avarice – I had never met the Polish guy or his ethnic girlfriend because they were living in Poland and um, wherever but we had a bunch of online conversations where we would hijack an ICQ chat room and discuss the details of our top-secret project. The reason we had to do this was that no-one around here is computer-savvy enough to figure out how to set up our own chat room. For some reason we chose the Cars and Vehicles chat room I guess because hardly anyone was ever in it, and then we would be hashing out the top-secret details over the wires when inevitably some goofball named FordFanatic would drop in on us and start asking a bunch of ridiculous questions like where do you get Pinto parts in Poughkeepsie. So in order not to blow our cover we would have to pretend to be vehicle obsessives until we could get the goofball out of there. We did this by relying upon my impossibly vast encyclopedic knowledge of automotive arcana. But that is beside the point at best. I should explain exactly what the project is because up to now I’ve been dancing around the subject: the project that we are working on is, well it’s bigger than big and highly confidential in nature. And it is a project the likes of which this burg will be discussing for quite some time. It is safe to say that it will turn this town on its ear. Another thing about it is, it’s so crazy that it just might work. I hope that clarifies things. But that’s not the point, the point is that they seemed like nice folks during these initial meetings and so things progressed forward to the point where the Polish guy is cashing out large amounts of real estate in Poland in order to invest it in our top-secret project. Also they are talking about relocating to Los Angeles from Poland and um, that other place. So here is the thing. The thing is, after meeting the Polish guy and getting to know him and working together I am starting to realize that I don’t like him because he is a tremendous ass and a jerk. Which is ironic because that is his name: Jurk.
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