Okay that creepy landlord never returned our phone calls today so we’re worried he might be trying to pull a fast one although we can’t think what that would be. Maybe he’s just not much of a “phone person” and prefers to conduct his affairs in a face-to-face kind of way. Perhaps he was just busy today? Or maybe he got his foot caught in a old-fashioned clothes-wringer? My super-cool friend Bryant lives in this duplex and he just got a new neighbor who is a horrible person whose name is Mitzi although Bryant maintains it is Trinka. We initially started hating her because some of our super-cool friends were trying to rent the place until Flitzi offered to pay twice the rent. There is a phenomenon of horrible rich people from the West side moving into our neighborhood and ruining it. She is the kind of person who speaks in an endless chirpy stream of gibberish that is impossible to comprehend until at the end of it you realize that you have somehow volunteered to install her garden gate. Anyway a few days ago Bryant was describing one of these conversations in which she said, “I’m starting a compost pile!” which was kind of amusing but I didn’t think too much about it one way or the other. Then today Bryant told me that he keeps getting woken up early in the morning by Twizzli and her dog – who is called Lady – scratching around right outside his bedroom window a few feet from his head. I guess that’s the spot she picked for her "compost pile."
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